The best coffee-lime-rum martini you will ever drink

This cocktail comes--with slight modifications--from the wonderful family-run Backwards Distillery in Casper, Wyoming. I have tried their gin and rum, and they are both amazing--the gin is the most interesting I think I have ever tried. I am not a paid advertiser, just a huge fan. So, without further ado...

Buzzed Martini (originally called "The Perky Daiquiri" from Backwards Distilling)

Makes 1 drink

1.5 oz rum (their's is called Sword Swallower  and it's delish)
2 oz cold coffee
1/2 oz lime juice
1/2 oz coconut milk
1/2 oz simple syrup

Shake all that shit up with some ice and pour into a glass. Try not to drink it too fast...

Banana Daiquiris are my summer spirit animal

Don't think a lot about it. This recipe is quintessential 1950s camp in a glass, and perfect for a casual gathering on your patio this weekend.

Frozen Banana Daiquiri of Your Dreams

Makes 1 drink

2 oz. rum of your choice
3/4 oz. lime juice
3/4 oz. sugar syrup (1:1 ratio of sugar to water)
1/2 frozen banana

Blend with 1/2 cup to 1 cup of cracked ice until smooth. (If you like a thinner consistency, use closer to 1 cup.) Pour into the corniest glass you can find, and top with Angostura bitters and a float of dark rum.

Cocktails for These Political Times: so, do we still have healthcare?

I was trying to remember when the whole Trumpcare debacle happened, and although it seems like at least thirteen controversies ago, it was just on March 24!  And I didn't even make a toast! So, this one's for all of my self-employed friends, many of whom are entertaining you with their amazing music/art/acting/dancing skills, teaching your children self-esteem and pride in a job well done, and making absolutely no contributions to the destruction of this world.  For the record, I always believed you deserve medical care.  Congrats on keeping it a bit longer. I added some juice for extra vitamins.

Healthcare, Hell Yeah!

Makes 1 drink

5 ounces unsweetened blueberry juice
2 ounces plain vodka
sugar to taste
ice
fresh blueberries
coarse sugar for rim of glass

Wet the rim of a chilled martini glass with vodka. Place coarse sugar on a plate, rub the edge of the glass with sugar to coat. Taste your blueberry juice to see how sweet it is. Add ice,vodka, blueberry juice & sweetener (if needed) to a martini shaker. Shake & strain into sugar rimmed martini glass. Float fresh blueberries on the top of the cocktail.
* You could totally replace the vodka with sparkling water (in which case, don't shake!) if you're scared you're about to lose your health insurance.

Cocktails for These Political Times: Ode to the ACLU

I went through the ACLU's Lobby Training Day in Denver Tuesday, and it was so eye-opening.  We had a brief meeting followed by a morning of wandering around the state Senate and House of Reps offices bugging politicians (and often their aides) not to torture incarcerated minors and to protect free speech  on campus.  In all of my years, and multiple civics classes I was required to take but never took seriously, I never learned so much about how bills are introduced, amended, and voted on. And after seeing up-close how many people are working tirelessly to go through every piece of legislature with a fine-toothed comb to ensure American's civil liberties, I have a renewed sense of appreciation for the ACLU (as do many of you; in Colorado alone, the number of volunteers jumped from 30 before election day to 1700 after their first legislative battles with the so-called Muslim ban).

The ACLU is a non-partisan group invested in calling everyone, on both sides of the aisle, on their bullshit. And if you can't get behind that, then you don't deserve this drink or any other except maybe prune juice.

The Black and White

Makes 1 drink

Ice cubes
2 fluid ounces heavy cream
1 fluid ounce vanilla flavored vodka
1 1/2 fluid ounces chocolate liqueur
Chocolate swizzle sticks, for garnish

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Add the cream and vodka. Cover and shake vigorously, or stir, until combined and chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Slowly pour the chocolate liqueur into the center of the drink to make a layered black and white cocktail. Lay a chocolate swizzle stick across the top rim of the glass. Serve. (Stir the layers together with the swizzle stick before drinking.)

Cocktails for These Political Times: Ladies and Health Stuff

Damnit, do I really still have to do this, America?  Alright, fine...

1. You're all about to lose your healthcare, if you haven't already.  Contact the honorable Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah to find out what kind of trade-in for services you can get with your iPhone.

In the meantime, you may want to start drinking healthier.  But you also need some vodka to drown your salty, salty tears in, so...

The 2017 Healthcare Gimlet

Makes 1 drink

2 oz, Vodka (keep it cheap, as you're going to have to pay for your own surgeries in the future) 2 oz. pineapple juice 

1 teaspoon lime juice

1 tablespoon agave nectar

1 sprig fresh tarragon (optional)

Place vodka, pineapple juice, lime juice, and agave nectar in a shaker with plenty of ice.  Shake until you can't stand it anymore, then strain into a martini glass.  Garnish with tarragon, which is supposed to be good for you or some shit (but not as good as free preventative medicine).

2. There was a Day Without Women strike yesterday, because apparently we still need to remember that we all rely on women sometimes, like say for our very existence. I was working along with a kick-ass woman composer in Laramie, but I did wear red. 

The #drinklikeagirl 

Makes 1 drink

1 oz. Rye Bourbon or Scotch 

1 oz. grapefruit juice 

1 oz. pomegranate juice* 

1/2 oz. of ginger simple syrup

dash of orange bitters

brandied cherries** and orange peel for garnish

Place all ingredients except garnishes in a shaker with ice. Shake until you are world weary. Strain into whatever the hell glass you like and garnish with brandied cherries and orange peel. 

* ginger simple syrup: In a small saucepan, bring 12 oz. fresh sliced ginger, 1 1/2 cups sugar, and 1 1/2 cups water to a boil over medium heat. Cook 2 minutes. Strain the mixture through a sieve, discarding ginger. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 1 week.

**brandied cherries: it's a lot of words.  just go here. 

Cocktails for These Political Times, part 3

There is so much news every week, most of it bad or crazy, coming out of the White House, and I feel like we all need a little break (from news, but not from drinking). I think it's time for a little positivity. So, this week I've decided to feature some of the fights one of my favorite (sadly, not mine) senators has been picking. This week's Cocktails for These Political Times salutes Minnesota Senator Al Franken, because he kicks ass. And a congratulations to you Minnesotans on your good taste. Check out his formerly awesome hair here.

Hot topics:

Net Neutrality

Overturning Citizens United (here's the petition if you want to sign)

Putting an end to LGBT Bullying (watch the interview here)

Supporting refugees against the Muslim band



There, do you have a crush on Al Franken yet?

It says that the Minnesota state drink is milk (of course), so here we go...

Red Wine Hot Chocolate

Serves 2, if you want to share

1 1/2 cup milk (non-dairy is fine, but keep it plain)
1 cup cheap, fruity/dry red wine (like a South American Shiraz or Merlot)
1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine milk and chocolate chips. Whisk constantly until chocolate is melted into milk and you have a thick and creamy chocolate milk. Pour in red wine and heat until everything is hot. Pour into 2 mugs or 6-8 smaller glasses if you think you can't handle it. I totally think Franni would be able to pound this, though.

Goes with: whatever the fuck you want, because Al Franken thinks you are beautiful and he would never tell you what you can and can't eat. 

Cocktails for These Political Times, part 2

Well well well!  So much exciting stuff happened this week!  Michael Flynn quit, Andrew Puzder withdrew his name as Labor Secretary, and despite the DeVos confirmation, the literacy rate still seems to be the same (not great, but still...).  We've got so much to celebrate!  We are still in Russia's back pocket, but we'll save that for another time.

One topic that has become near and dear to me is that of the town hall meetings.  You may recall (or maybe not--who can keep up with all of the drama?) that several GOP senators returned home in the last week to some rather hostile crowds demanding answers to a wide variety of basic questions regarding healthcare, Russian hacking, business conflicts, and the like.  Here in my home state of Colorado, we have yet to hear any news of prodigal first-time senator Cory Gardner's return, although some of my clever fellow Greeley residents sent him a heartfelt Valentine this week to tantalize him. Many of us have also signed this helpful petition reminding him of our existence.

Perhaps he's afraid to see a repeat of what happened in Salt Lake City when Jason Chaffetz, chair of the oversight committee, got solidly slammed for sucking at his job, which is actually to represent his constituents' desires. Those desires apparently include investigating corruption in the White House. Who knew?

Chaffetz was a brave boy for facing the angry townspeople (braver, so far, than Gardner), but he did imply that those were paid protesters afterward, continuing a tired theme started by Trump himself. So, this week, TWO drinks: one for the great people of SLC for their righteous indignation (I know you probably don't drink, but Jello is your state food, right?), and one for keeping your strength up as you troll your senators on Facebook late into the night.



Fancy Jello Shots for SLC (non-alcoholic)

Makes about 12 double shots

1/2 cup boiling water
2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
2 1/2 cups sparkling juice or cider (chilled)*
optional: berries, cherries, or gummies

Sprinkle the 2 envelopes of unflavored gelatin over the boiling water and let soften for a few minutes. Whisk to dissolve completely and to get rid of clumps.

Pour the sparkling juice or cider gently into a mixing bowl or large measuring cup with a spout (try to pour onto the inside of the bowl to minimize carbonation loss). Pour the gelatin mixture into the sparkling juice and gently stir to combine.

Pour the liquid into stemmed glasses or other containers you wish to use for serving. Add berries or gummies to each glass.

Refrigerate for an hour before serving or until jello is firm enough to eat.

* Trade the cider for sparkling wine/ champagne if you want.



#notapaidprotester 

Makes 1 drink

1/3 cup tomato juice
2 ounces tequila
juice of half a lime
Ice
Hot pepper sauce, (I like Tabasco or Tapatio)

In a large glass, combine tomato juice, tequila, and lime juice. Add ice and several dashes hot-pepper sauce, and get to work demanding revolution!

Forget the food, let's drink!

How was everyone's Thanksgiving?  Good? There are so many reasons to drink these days, and it is best done with your close friends and allies with a carby snack nearby (I like popcorn, which can be made with a drink in your hand).  These are a little fussy and require some work in the kitchen (not too much, don't worry!), so they make a great distraction from real life and serve as a fun group activity.

Tangerine-Cranberry Old Fashioned
Makes 1 drink
2.5 oz. bourbon (I used Bulleit rye)
1 tsp. cranberry simple syrup*
5-6 fresh cranberries
2 slices autumn tangerine or satsuma
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Sugared cranberries* and cinnamon stick to garnish

Muddle tangerine or satsuma and fresh cranberries in the bottom of an old fashioned glass. Add cranberry simple syrup, bitters, and bourbon. Stir briefly and add one large ice cube. Garnish with sugared cranberries on a pick and a cinnamon stick.

*You can make the sugared cranberry garnish and the cranberry simple syrup together. Combine 1/4 cup water and 1/4 cup sugar and simmer to dissolve the sugar. Add about 1/2 cup cranberries. Remove from heat and let sit for 10 minutes. Strain, reserving both the cranberries and the syrup. Arrange half of the cranberries on parchment paper on a wire cooling rack and let sit for one hour; these will be your sugared cranberries. Return the rest to the pot with the syrup and muddle. Let sit for another 10-20 minutes and strain again, discarding the muddled berries. Once an hour has passed, pour 1/4 cup sugar onto a plate and roll the remaining cranberries in it to coat.

The Dirty Chai Nightcap
Makes 4 drinks
4 chai tea bags
1 cup filtered water
4 ounces espresso
1 cup almond milk
4 ounces whiskey
1 tablespoon maple syrup
star anise, garnish

Heat the water to almost boiling and steep the tea bags in it for 5 minutes. Discard the tea bags and cool the chai concentrate.

Make 4 ounces of espresso and cool.

Combine in a shaker the chai, espresso, milk, whiskey, and maple syrup. Strain and pour into 4 martini glasses, and top with star anise.

Apple-Ginger Martini

Makes 1 drinks

2 oz vodka
2 oz apple-ginger-lime juice (recipe below)
1 teaspoon maple or honey simple syrup (made by mixing equal parts of maple syrup or honey with filtered water until fully dissolved)
Crushed ice
1 large tart green apple, cored and cut into slices (ex. granny smith)
¼ cup water

1 tablespoons grated ginger
The juice of 1 large lime
Apple slices for garnish (optional)

Make the Green Apple and Lime Juice:
Add the apple slices to a high speed blender along with the water, ginger, and lime juice and blend on high until smooth. Strain through a fine mesh strainer pressing on the pulp to get all of the juice and set aside.

Make the Green Apple Ginger Martini:
Add the juice, the vodka and the maple syrup to a cocktail shaker. Fill the shaker halfway with ice and shake vigorously until the shaker turns frosty. Strain into the chilled glasses. Garnish with the reserved apple slices if desired

Cocktail Hour in the summer

You know what I haven't published in a long time? Cocktail recipes!  And let's be honest, you're totally going to make all of these tonight, even though no one's coming over...

Each recipe serves 1

Slojito
1.5 oz.Sloe gin
Soda water to taste
Crushed ice with
4 wedges of lime, plus one to garnish
One teaspoon of brown sugar
10 basil leaves

Take a chilled rocks glass, throw in 9 basil leaves, 4 wedges of lime and a teaspoon of brown sugar. Muddle until the lime juice is soaking the other ingredients. Fill the glass with ice and pour over the Sloe gin. Top with chilled soda and stir. Garnish the cocktail with a wedge of lime and a basil leaf, for  best Instagram results.

Jan Collins
3/4 ounce vodka 

1/4 ounce triple sec 

1/2 ounce club soda 

3/4 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 

1/4 ounce simple syrup 

Orange wheel for garnish

Combine vodka, triple sec, lemon juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a glass, top with club soda, and garnish with half an orange wheel. Then tell people it's not a girly drink.

Astoria Bianco
1 1/4 ounces gin
1/2 ounce Italian (sweet) vermouth 1 dash orange bitters
Orange twist for garnish

Combine gin, vermouth, and orange bitters in a cocktail shaker with ice.
Shake contents and strain into a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with an orange twist.

Rusty Nail
3/4 oz Drambuie 

1 1/2 oz Scotch Whisky

Pour all ingredients directly into old-fashioned glass filled with ice. Stir. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Countdown to Thanksgiving: hosting guests

It's the weekend before Thanksgiving, and it's also Friday; either way, I hope you're prepping your bar and whipping up some snacks for guests!

Cocktail Hour...

As soon as people arrive, you should have some options for them to drink and snack.  Because maybe they're super excited to get the party started, or maybe they need the booze to survive a conversation with you and the snacks to fill the awkward pauses.  Either way, it's only polite to have some simple offerings on hand.

Drinks: keep it simple.  If it takes you 20 minutes to make the drinks, you're not really enjoying the visit, are you?

Cold weather drinks with rye, rum, and bourbon

Lighter cocktails: mimosa, sangria, and the classic Bloody Mary

Thanksgiving cocktails: cranberry margarita and rosemary gin and tonic

Whiskey

A nice wine and cheese arrangement does the trick, too.

Snacks: you need something to sop up the booze.  Bowls of nuts, mixed olives, and some bread will do.  I, however, am very partial to dips.

Chipotle-Crab Dip
Guacamole (trust me, this one's good)
Hot Rosemary-Garlic Ricotta Dip
Hummus (don't buy it, dingbat!)
Roasted Red Pepper Dip (aka North African Party Dip)
Tuscan White Bean Dip
Walnut-Feta Spread

This is a little more work, but aren't deviled eggs delicious, too?  You never make them just for yourself, right? But having guests over is a great excuse!

Breakfast...
If you've got house guests, it's your job to make the morning.  Get up earlier than them and have something delicious for them to eat (or not--don't be pushy).  It doesn't matter if you don't want to get up, just do it!  There is nothing ruder than a host who leaves the guests to roam the halls in silence, snooping around for a mug and a coffee maker like a sleepy thief.  Don't make your guests feel like vultures.

Everything with a  *  can be made ahead and frozen or refrigerated until ready to serve.

Sweet
Blueberry Breakfast Cake *
Breakfast Quinoa
Breakfast Rice Pudding
Chocolate Muffins *
Crepes
Lemon-Tahini Muffins *
Rye & Rhubarb (or raspberry) Cake *

Savory
Breakfast Burritos *
Crustless Quinoa and Greens Quiche *
Heavenly Egg Casserole *
Mini Quiches *
Shakshuka
Sweet Potato Hash

Gin: a Buyer's Guide

I love gin in the spring and summer (and also the fall and winter, but you know...).  Gin and tonics are like grown-up Sprite, and gin pairs so well with any fresh fruit juice.  So, this is how I justify geeking out on gin for you, my loyal readers, and helping you figure out how to stock your liquor cabinets for spring while also refreshing my own options.

Expensive gins I do not buy but think are interesting

Hendrick's Gin ($35) gives off a boutique, old-world vibe, but it was actually introduced onto the market in 1999. It's a pretty special product, though, because besides just juniper in the infusion, they thrown in Bulgarian rose and cucumber. These added flavors are subtle, but with the addition of fresh cucumber slices, they become more apparent.  It's unique and quite tasty, and it's best sipped with the aforementioned cucumber and lemon slices rather than getting buried in heavy tonic water.

Williams Chase ($60) is the most expensive on this list, but it's also pretty interesting, with juniper, apple, and elderflower, along with a little citrus.  Like Hendrick's, try it without mix-ins first. Be forewarned, this U.K. gin is hard to find in many parts of the U.S. I'm too cheap to buy this, so if anyone is thinking of sending me a birthday present in July, email me and I'll give you my street address.

Mid-priced gins you can bring to a party without embarrassing yourself:

Tanqueray 10 ($30) is described as having a varied bouquet and a subtle citrus note.  I may be drinking too much of the rough stuff, but to me it tastes like nothing. So, if you're not too into juniper flavor, this smooth, inoffensive concoction is for you. It's Tanqueray's small-batch gin, and their marketing is great (how many times have you heard people ordering a "Tanqueray and Tonic"?  Now, how many times have you heard anyone order a "Seagram's and Tonic"?) Because it's so uninteresting, I think it works best in a martini.

Beefeater Gin ($23) is old-school, heavy juniper flavor that stands up really well to tonic. It's also got a nice hint of citrus and a more complex collection of herbal notes that some of the cheaper gins lack. Tastes like a Christmas tree, but a pretty smooth Christmas tree (which I mean as a compliment, by the way).

Boodles ($23), affectionately termed "proper English gin", has been around since 1847.  It's harder to find than Beefeater in run-of-the-mill liquor stores, but it's a more interesting version of gin along a similar old-school vein.  The recipe of aromatics and botanicals includes coriander, sage, cassia bark, nutmeg, rosemary, caraway, angelica root and juniper berries. It makes a great dry martini.

I am not including Bombay Sapphire, as I do not know that the hell that is.  Gin is not blue and should not taste like a bouquet from the grocery store.

The gins I keep buying again and again:

Disclaimer: I think gin should taste like you're sucking on a Christmas tree, and I don't mind if it burns a bit going down.

New Amsterdam ($16): this is a smoother, lighter version of a very affordable gin.  It's brighter in citrus overtones with a pretty subtle juniper flavor, and it's slightly creamy.  So, actually, this one does not taste like you're sucking on a Christmas tree, but I like it, anyway. Works just fine in G&Ts and is particularly delicious with grapefruit juice.

Gilbey's ($14): Made since 1857 in England, this is another piney, citrusy gin, but the pine is lighter, the citrus a little brighter, with just a touch or burn.  This, like all of the gins in this category, makes a good G&T or other citrusy cocktail. It's also quite nice in a gimlet or Negroni, because it's not too rough.

Gordon's ($12): Yes yes, I know you think this is getting into rot-gut territory, but it's actually a winner in the Huffington Post Gin and Tonic Taste Test.  And why?  Because it tastes like gin should: a mouthful of Christmas tree with just a little paint remover thrown in.  Just kidding, though the juniper flavor is pretty simplistic compared to Boodles or Beefeater.  Your martini might be a little rough, but the aforementioned cocktails will work just fine with this Grandpa-style gin.  I love it, actually, and am trying to stage a hipster-style comeback, ala PBR.

Seagram's ($12): I've seen this on a lot of "good budget gins" lists lately, and I haven't tried it since my grad school days in its birthplace of southern Indiana, but unless it's changed quite a bit since the early 00s, I say to you: no.  Just. No.

Drinks with orange blossom water

Sometimes I make impulse buys (always edible, never wearable), and then I visit my problems upon you all, fair readers, as I puzzle over what to do with my new acquisitions.  I mean, I'm looking up the stuff anyway, so why not share?

You may never have occasion to purchase orange blossom water, but I was curious.  And now I'm up to my eyeballs in cocktails! For the record, they are all delicious.

These recipes are not mine; they come from all over the internet and even from old-fashioned books!  All drinks should be shaken generously with ice unless otherwise noted.

California Orange Blossom
1 orange (juiced)
2 vodka (shots)
1 dash orange flower water
ice for shaking
Cooper's Union Cocktail
1 oz pink grapefruit juice
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
1 oz St. Germain Elderflower liquer
3 drops orange flower water
1 oz vodka

ice for shaking
Shake, then add chilled champagne or sparkling wine to top

Malena

1 oz  rye whiskey
1 oz Campari (this one's for you, honey!)
.75 oz Graham’s Six Grapes Port
5 drops Orange blossom water
3 dashes Regans’ Orange Bitters

orange wheel for garnish

Stir all ingredients thoroughly in the glass.

Orange Blossom Margarita

2 oz  freshly squeezed orange juice
2 oz  tequila
1 oz  triple sec
1-2 teaspoons  orange blossom water
ice for shaking

Ramos Gin Fizz

2 oz. gin (the kind that tastes like a Christmas tree, not that Tanqueray Ten shit)
1 oz. heavy cream
1 oz. simple syrup
1/2 oz. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1/2 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
1 egg white
3 dashes orange blossom water
1 drop vanilla extract

Dry shake this (without ice) about 10 seconds before adding the ice.  Then, add a few cubes and shake it until you can't hear the ice anymore. Pour in a collins glass and top with a little soda to form a head. 

Stars Fell on Alabama
1.5 ounces whiskey
1 dash absinthe (skip if you don't have it)
1 dash angostura bitters
1 dash orange flower water
1 dash bitters
1 dash simple syrup
ice for shaking

Wallick

1.5 ounces gin
1.5 ounces dry vermouth
4 dashes orange flower water

Nothing soothes Valentine's Day irritation like cocktails...

I have never liked Valentine's Day, not when I was single (duh), not when I was dating, and not now that I am married.  It's whiny, cloying, needy, and totally made up to trap people into looking like jerks if they don't spend enough money on arbitrary gifts like dry, dusty chocolates in heart-shaped boxes.  Do you feel stupid yet? Dump the roses and stew in hatred with me--it's fun!

Or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to drink... that is definitely possible.  But you know what?  Who cares?  This week I challenge you all to celebrate your independence from Hallmark's impositions, whether you are happily in a relationship or fabulously single.  Treat yourself to a decadent, complicated cocktail every day this week and roll your eyes at your childish lemming friends.

Monday (Oops, you'll have to drink two tonight, because we missed it!)
Ex-Boyfriend: Toast your stupidest Ex and thank Buddha s/he's out of your life

• 1 oz. X-Rated Fusion Liqueur 
• 2 oz. vanilla vodka
• 2 oz. orange Juice
• 1 oz. pineapple Juice
• 1 oz. cranberry Juice

Fill a Highball glass with ice. Combine liqueur, vodka, and juices in the glass and enjoy. 

Tuesday
Cupid’s Broken Arrow:

• 3 oz. mango vodka
• 1/2 oz. triple sec
• 1 oz. cranberry juice
• splash of fresh lime juice

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a glass. Garnish with a cherry.

Wednesday 

Love on the Rocks: 

• 1 ½ oz. cherry vodka
• 4 oz. ginger ale
• splash of grenadine

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a glass. Garnish with a cherry.

Thursday

Adios, Motherf-er:

• ½ oz. vodka
• ½ oz. rum
• ½ oz. tequila
• ½ oz. gin
• ½ oz. blue curacao liqueur
• 2 oz. sweet and sour mix
• 2 oz. lemon-lime soda
• 1 maraschino cherry
• 1 lemon slice

Pour all ingredients except soda in chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with soda and stir gently. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and lemon slice.

Friday

Dark Chocolate:

• 1 ½ oz. cachaca 
• ½ oz. Jago Cream Liqueur
• ½ oz. Navan
• 4 oz. hot chocolate mix
• whipped cream
• chocolate shavings

Mix all ingredients in a tall handled glass. Pour and thoroughly stir in the hot chocolate mixture. Top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

Saturday

You'd better make some strong coffee after the terrible week you've had. What were you thinking?!

Yeah, let's hear it for best friends!

Spiked Traditions: Egg Nog

I can't help it--every year, as soon as they roll out all of the egg nog-flavored dairy and dairy substitute products, I crack.  I don't know why; I don't even recall drinking much egg nog as a kid.  I am able to bravely stave off urges for Pumpkin Spiced things all fall, but I am a whore for Silk Soy "Egg Nog" from the dairy case at Safeway.  And then it sits in my fridge until it gets clumpy, because let's face it, it's only fun to pour that stuff in your coffee about three times.  And drink it on its own?  With that creepily manufactured mouthfeel?  No thanks.


The only thing that cuts the sweetness and thickness of this stuff is booze.  Yep, that's right: it's cocktail time, egg nog style!


Spiked Egg Nog: 1oz. of spiced rum, brandy, or bourbon to 4 oz. egg nog, with cinnamon sprinkled on top


Egg Crusher: 1 oz. rum, 1 oz. Kahlua, 5 oz. egg nog


Brandy Alexander 2.0: 1.5 oz. brandy, 1 oz. creme de cacao, 2 oz. egg nog with nutmeg sprinkled on top


Ginger Snap: 1 oz. spiced rum, 1/2 oz. ginger brandy, 4 oz. egg nog


Imperial Egg Nog: 1 oz. brandy, 1.2 oz. apricot brandy, 4 oz. egg nog


Nashville Egg Nog: 1/2 oz. rum, 1/2 oz. brandy, 2 oz. bourbon, 5 oz. egg nog


Russian Nog: 1 oz. vodka, 1 oz. Kahlua, 1 oz. egg nog

LET THE HOLIDAYS BEGIN!

Gifts fit for a food lover

Winter Solstice is just around the corner (that's right, roll your eyes), and I love the excuse to give presents.  Not all of my friends care that much about food (ahem, french fry aficionado, you know who you are), but for the ones who do, food-themed presents are an easy way to give a unique, stand-out gift to your inner circle.  And hopefully they'll serve it when you're around. Here are some very clever products I have been checking out:

Boozy Stuff:

These mixers (and one very special bourbon) will make you into an alcoholic.  But a happy one. 

Owl's Brew Coco-Lada: a beverage mixer with pineapple, coconut, and chai spices (whaaat?!) with a black tea base makes vodka, rum, and just about anything else magical.

Quince & Apple Honey Lemon Syrup: pour it into whiskey

White Whale Filthy Liar: lychee-rosemary-clove mixer tastes great with gin or just club soda.

Wyoming Whiskey: in true cowboy fashion, these guys have had a slow and disorganized start, but if you can place an order early enough (or just make it a mid-winter surprise when it finally shows up), their small-batch whiskey and newly released bourbon really are worth the wait.


Stuff Your Face:

It's fun to do all of your own cooking and baking, but it's also fun to sample amazing talent from around the country while you sit on the couch watching t.v. and drinking fancy cocktails

Caramels from Fran's Chocolates: handmade in Washington state, the smoked salt caramels are my favorite.

French macarons from the iconic Macaron Cafe in NYC: I love the caramel "fleur de sel", cassisviolette, and jasmin, but you do what you want.

Looseleaf tea from englishteastore.com: the packaging is far from luxurious, but these guys have the best tea, hands down, and at a very low price.  I first discovered them when I had their Monk's Blend (black tea with vanilla, caramel, and grenadine) at an organic shop, but have since become hooked on their chocolate orange and Earl Grey cream, as well.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I get all my tea here.


Cookbooks:

It may seem a little old-fashioned, but I just don't believe that cookbooks translate well to e-reader, especially with the beautiful artwork modern books all seem to have.  Consider some beautiful, and practical, food porn for your favorite curmudgeon this year.  

Yvette van Boven: Homemade  
I loved her Homemade Summer, and this is the one that started it all.  She's Irish and runs a restaurant in the Netherlands, and her recipes combine traditions from the two cultures in a carefree, relaxed way. You know these people for whom hosting parties, making cocktails, looking perfect, etc., is just natural?  This is how her recipes will make you feel about your cooking.

Christopher Blain: In the Kitchen with Alain Passard: Inside the World (and Mind) of a Master Chef
Super fun graphic novel with clean, spare artwork.

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall: River Cottage Veg
I mentioned this cookbook here in this blog last summer, and it's still one of my new favorites. F-W is pragmatic in his love of vegetables; this is a no-fuss collection of recipes which will sometimes surprise you in the combinations and textures he manages to create.  Plus, he's the only guy who consistently put Gordon Ramsay in his place on the F-Word, so he's earned some serious street cred, as far as I'm concerned!

Michael Hudman and Anthony Ticer: Collards & Carbonara: Southern Cooking, Italian Roots
These recipes highlight the best of both Italian and Southern cooking, from the use of fresh, local produce in season to simple preparations that retain the character of the original foods.  

Aki Kamozawa and Alexander Talbot: Maximum Flavor: Recipes That Will Change the Way You Cook
From the bloggers who created Ideas in Food, this book takes a very scientific approach to solving standard challenges in the kitchen.  These guys are geniuses, and you will learn more about your food so that you can be a more intelligent cook.

Edward Lee: Smoke and Pickles: Recipes and Stories from a New Southern Kitchen
For the meat lover; this guy was a real douchebag on Top Chef, but his recipes are brilliant, and I love the pairing of Asian and Southern elements--it works surprisingly well!

Ivan Orkin: Ivan Ramen: Love, Obsession, and Recipes from Tokyo's Most Unlikely Noodle Joint
I think you all know how much I love ramen, but even if you are not as into it as I am, this will teach you a new appreciation for the art of excellent ramen making and give you some great recipes to try.  This book is total geekery. 

Bar Review: Northern Colorado's version of Havana has a lot of booze

Oh dear, oh dear--I have fallen in love with yet another bar in Fort Collins. Here goes nothing, old liver of mine...

The Astoria is a charmingly dilapidated space at 146 N. College Ave. that attempts to recreate the dilapidated charm of Havana.  Having never been there, I imagine The Astoria is heavier on the charm than Havana might be, but the tall ceilings, cracked plaster, heavy red velvet curtains, and slightly run-down (though comfy) furniture sells well enough to me. Like so many bars in Fort Collins, The Astoria boasts a long line of local taps, a good wine list, and over a dozen clever, retro-sounding cocktails.  But these guys also do food: simple, small(ish) plates of starches and protein to satisfy your drunken cravings and provide a little nourishment. The offerings and portion sizes are just right, and the cooking is skilled.  Here's what we got:

The shrimp ceviche had a nice bite thanks to generous squirts of lime juice and just a sprinkling of serrano peppers.  I could have eaten a large vat of this, but it was large enough for two to share, eating about  bites each.

Patatas Bravas were basically potatoes smothered in a smoky adobo sauce with three grilled shrimp on top.  The potatoes could have been crisper (maybe less sauce would have done the trick), but the sauce had a great earthy, and very smoky, flavor with a little heat at the end.

Lechon (roasted, marinated, and shredded pork butt) and Ropa Vieja (marinated, shredded flank steak) both came with white rice and seasoned black beans on the side. About the equivalent of lunch portions (I'm guessing 4 - 5 oz. of meat), this was fantastic comfort food while sitting by the fire.  The beans were seasoned well and cooked tender but not mushy, the rice was fluffy, and the meat was tender and juicy.  The pork marinade didn't come through as well as the one used for the flank steak, so the flank steak was a little more tangy and flavorful, but both were executed well.

We also got flan and rice pudding.  The rice pudding had a pleasant, mild flavor with a pinch of cinnamon, and the flan was intensely caramel-flavored--perhaps the best I've had in a restaurant.

I wish I had written down what I drank, because by the end of it, my mind was a blur.  I started with an El Presidente (vodka, gin, rum, and tequila with orange and pineapple juice in  sugar-rimmed glass with a cherry) and then had a cucumber-y gin thing.  Both were delicious and not too sweet.  The taps included seasonal and standard beers from New Belgium (of course), Equinox, and Odell, as well as some other popular Rocky Mountain regional names.   The service was relaxed but friendly (read: no hovering at the table), dishes were well-timed to arrive when we were ready for them without feeling rushed, and the vibe on a Thursday night was chill and more for the over-30 set.  There is frequently a live music offering later at night, however, so check in advance before you go. 

The Astoria Bar

                                                146 N College Ave, Fort Collins, CO, 80524

  T: 970-484-0995 /E: theastoriainc@gmail.com

     Bar Open Monday - Saturday 4pm - 2am, Sunday 7pm - 2am  

            Kitchen open Tuesday - Saturday 5pm - 10pm

Cold weather: a great excuse to drink!

Alright, it has already snowed here in Wyoming and northern Colorado--like, a lot.  If that doesn't make you want to break out the rum, you must be a better person than I.  Or just crabbier!

Cinnamon Toast
Makes 1 drink

• 1 1/4 ounce(s) Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum
• 6 ounce(s) hot apple cider
• 1 tablespoon(s) sugar
• 1 tablespoon(s) cinnamon

Add hot apple cider and Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum to a glass rimmed with sugar and cinnamon.

Suburban
Serves 1

• 1 1/2 ounces rye whiskey or bourbon
• 1/2 ounce dark rum
• 1/2 ounce port
• 1 dash orange bitters
• 1 dash Angostura bitters

Stir well with cracked ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Or perhaps whiskey is more your style...

Chancellor Cocktail
Serves 1

• 2 ounces blended Scotch whiskey
• 1 ounce ruby port
• 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth
• 2 dashes orange bitters

Stir well with cracked ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass; it should pour a luminous garnet red.

Old-Fashioned
Serves 1

• 1 sugar cube
• 3 dashes Angostura bitters
• club soda
• 2 ounces rye whiskey or bourbon

Place the sugar cube (or 1/2 teaspoon loose sugar) in an Old-Fashioned glass. Wet it down with 2 or 3 dashes of Angostura bitters and a short splash of water or club soda. Crush the sugar with a wooden muddler, chopstick, strong spoon, lipstick, cartridge case, whatever. Rotate the glass so that the sugar grains and bitters give it a lining. Add a large ice cube. Pour in the rye (or bourbon). Serve with a stirring rod.

Summer drinkin', part 3: the under-appreciated rosé

People often scoff at the girly-pink rosés that get passed around at weddings, and it's true, they can be cloyingly sweet and headache-inducing cheap.  But I rather like them in the summer, and there's a lot more variety than you might expect, if you only know what to buy.  Let's start a movement to give these refreshing wines the love they deserve.  I'm starting this morning.  

Prices listed are based on the going rates in Northern Colorado and southern Wyoming, by the way.  Sorry, East Coasters!

2010 Santi Infinito Rosé, approx. $8
Fruity and mild, great with grilled and/ or fruit-flavored poultry.

2011 El Coto Rioja Rosé, approx. $9
A slightly heavier, more floral wine with an orange undertone, it can stand up to BBQ chicken, flank steak, and pork.

2011 Le Rosé de Mouton Cadet Bordeaux Rosé, approx. $10
Floral and berry-like, this works well with fried shrimp, oysters, or calamari.

2011 M. Chapoutier Côtes-du-Rhône Rosé Belleruche, approx. $11
Paler in hue, and subtler in flavor, this wine stands in wherever you might serve pinot grigio. Try it with spicy Indian or Thai food.

NV Poema Brut Rosé Cava, approx. $11
On the dry side and with plenty of bubbles; great for a toast or an aperitif.

2011 Tariquet Rosé de Pressée, approx. $12
Sweeter and slightly thicker than the others, this works well with egg dishes or light seafood.

2011 Domaine de Fontsainte Gris de Gris, approx. $12
Herbaceous and rich, this also works well with spicy ethnic food.

2011 Château Bonnet Bordeaux Rosé, approx. $12
Delicate with peach undertones, this actually pairs quite well with tomato, as in a simple bruschetta appetizer.

2011 Mas Cal Demoura Qu'es Aquo, approx. $16
Crisp and full of berry flavor, this works exceptionally well with a burger.

NV Ewald Gruber Punkt Genau Zweigelt Rosé, approx. $18
Slightly fewer bubbles than Poema Brut Rosé Cava listed above, but still a great stand-in for champagne if you want a softer edge.

2011 Parajaxx Napa Valley Rosé, approx. $20
This is really a medium-red in disguise, and only slightly fruitier than a Merlot. Pair it with duck or beef.

Summer drinkin', part 2: guide to wines

Back when I wrote part-time for the abysmal Examiner.com, I was often scrounging for topical articles to get through the summer months between festivals and gardening tips.  I wrote this little guide to summer wines that got quite a few hits, and hope it can still be of some use.  At least, it could be an excuse to crank up the grill and get a bottle or two this weekend...

German Riesling: Classic Midwestern picnic wine, these run the gamut from sweet and fruity to dry and minerally. They're also incredibly food-friendly (the sweeter varieties work well with spicy foods like Thai and Indian). Guntrum Riesling Royal Blue is a great dry variety; Schloss Vollrads Reisling QBA, Rheingau is sweeter without being cloying.

Vinho Verde: This light, airy, and half-sparkling Portuguese wine is one of my favorites as an everyday substitute for champagne (and no headaches later). Terrific with salads and seafood, the crisp, green-apple flavor is not too sweet, not too dry. Try Sogrape Vinhos Gazela, which has a tinge of lime in it, or Broadbent Vinho Verde with its subtle apricot hues.

Gamay: Thought I was only going to mention whites for summer? Burgundy's other red, Gamay, is a lighter cousin to those thick, velvety reds that work so well around Christmas time. Lightly acidic with berry notes, serve this slightly chilled at picnics with everything from salami and hotdogs to salads and grilled chicken. Try Georges Deboeuf Morgon Jean Descombes, Cru Beaujolais, France, which is the definitive Gamay available in the states. Maison Louis Jadot Beaujolias Villages is another option available locally; I like it for its bright currant flavor and peppery finish.

Syrah: Long equated with budget Australian labels (which is a nice quality, I think!), Syrahs can work with heavy, wintery foods and light, grilled foods equally well. This is the red to serve with your grilled pork, lamb, or beef. For the lighter side of Syrahs, try Bonny Doon Le Pousseur orArnot-Roberts Clary Ranch, both from California. They have a gentler finish than the Australian varieties often do.

Summer drinkin', part 1: cocktails

For anyone whose lives are touched by a school year, the summer is quickly fading, and with it, those carefree evenings of drinks with friends on the porch (and patio, and living room, and eventually while sitting on the front sidewalk crying) and piles of grilled veggies and meats to accompany them.  I'm mourning the loss with a retrospective of my favorites from the summer, and I insist on continuing to drink all of these things until it's too cold to sit outside with a martini glass. So, here's to the next four months!

Arkansas Punch

Serves 6

1 1/2 cups bourbon
3 cups pomegranate juice
2 cups orange juice
sparkling wine or club soda
fresh mint leaves and lemon slices (optional)

Pour bourbon and fruit juices into a punch bowl and stir to mix. Top with sparkling wineor club soda to taste, garnish with mint leaves and lemon slices, and serve.


Bicicletta
Campari was so ubiquitous when I was in Italy last summer that I'll always associate it with sumer drinking!

Serves 1

2 oz. Campari liqueur
2 oz. dry white wine (Pinot Grigio would be perfect)
Club soda

Pour the spirits into a tall glass with ice cubes and top with club soda. Garnish with a slice of lemon.


Cowboy Roy

Serves 1

2 oz. rum
2 oz. vodka
6 oz. orange juice

Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with plenty of ice and shake vigorously. Pour into a tall glass and enjoy.


Gin Spritzer

Makes 1 drink

2 oz. gin
2 teaspoons lime juice
4 slices cucumber
tonic water

Combine cucumber slices, lime juice, and gin in a cocktail shaker and mix thoroughly. Strain into a short glass over ice and top with about 4 oz. tonic water. Garnish with lime and cucmber slices if desired.

Last Days of Summer

Serves 4

1 cup orange juice
1 cup apple juice
1/2 cup vodka
1/2 cup amaretto
1 orange, cut into thin slices

Pour all ingredients into a pitcher and stir. Fill four glasses with orange slices and 3-4 cubes of ice and pour equal amount of punch on top.

Leap Year Cocktail
Alright, Leap Year is in February, but the lemon is so summery.

Serves 1

1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 1/2 oz. gin
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
3/4 oz. sweet vermouth

Combine all ingredients in cocktail shaker with plenty of ice. Blend and strain into a martini glass; garnish with a twist of lemon if desired.


Martinez
This is a great appertif before dinner with friends on the patio.

Makes 1 drink

2 oz. gin
3/4 oz. sweet vermouth
1/4 oz. maraschino cherry juice
dash Angostura bitters
lemon twist and maraschino cherry for garnish

Combine gin, vermouth, cherry juice, and bitters in a cocktail shaker with plenty of ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a martini glass; garnish with a twist of lemon peel and a maraschino cherry.


Mexican Martini
My attempt at the Tradicional martini at the restaurant Rio Grande in Northern Colorado...

Serves 1

2 oz. tequila
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
1/2 oz. sweet vermouth
1 tablespoon lime juice

Pour all ingredients into cocktail shaker and mix with plenty of ice. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with a lime wedge if desired.


The Southside

Makes 1 drink

2 ounces gin
¾ ounce lime juice
¾ ounce simple syrup
Two sprigs of mint
A few drops of Angostura bitters

Fill a shaker a quarter full of ice and add the gin, lime juice and syrup, one of the sprigs of mint and the bitters. Shake for about a minute, then pour the mixture into a cocktail glass.


Summer Shandy

Serves 4

12 oz can of limeade or lemonade concentrate
vodka
4 light beers

Empty the limeade concentrate into a pitcher. Fill the empty concentrate can with vodka and add that to the pitcher as well. Depending on your taste and circumstances, another half can of vodka is acceptable. Add the beers and stir with a long spoon until the concentrate has broken up.