1. You're all about to lose your healthcare, if you haven't already. Contact the honorable Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah to find out what kind of trade-in for services you can get with your iPhone.
In the meantime, you may want to start drinking healthier. But you also need some vodka to drown your salty, salty tears in, so...
Makes 1 drink
2 oz, Vodka (keep it cheap, as you're going to have to pay for your own surgeries in the future) 2 oz. pineapple juice
1 teaspoon lime juice
1 tablespoon agave nectar
1 sprig fresh tarragon (optional)
Place vodka, pineapple juice, lime juice, and agave nectar in a shaker with plenty of ice. Shake until you can't stand it anymore, then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with tarragon, which is supposed to be good for you or some shit (but not as good as free preventative medicine).
2. There was a Day Without Women strike yesterday, because apparently we still need to remember that we all rely on women sometimes, like say for our very existence. I was working along with a kick-ass woman composer in Laramie, but I did wear red.
Makes 1 drink
1 oz. grapefruit juice
1 oz. pomegranate juice*
1/2 oz. of ginger simple syrup
dash of orange bitters
brandied cherries** and orange peel for garnish
Place all ingredients except garnishes in a shaker with ice. Shake until you are world weary. Strain into whatever the hell glass you like and garnish with brandied cherries and orange peel.
* ginger simple syrup: In a small saucepan, bring 12 oz. fresh sliced ginger, 1 1/2 cups sugar, and 1 1/2 cups water to a boil over medium heat. Cook 2 minutes. Strain the mixture through a sieve, discarding ginger. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 1 week.
**brandied cherries: it's a lot of words. just go here.