08 April 2011

Greeley, CO's weirdest restaurant


Ostensibly, Red's Dogs and Donuts hearkens back to Greeley's potato-loving past, offering "spudnuts", or doughnuts made with potato flour.  In reality, it's a crazy hot mess of A.D.D. junk food love--doughnuts (most are not spudnuts), "gourmet" hotdogs made with kobe beef (Why bother?  Can anyone explain this?) and all kinds of random toppings like mole sauce with pickled red onions and coleslaw with bacon, as well as a couple of special treats you can't find anywhere else.  In fact, you might not ever have heard of them.

Kolaches are a yeast-based bun filled with meat, vegetables, or fruit.  Most are geared towards breakfast (though Red's is open until 8pm weekdays, midnight weekends) and amount to enclosed Egg McMuffin-style sandwiches.  And then there are the Wacky Waffles (I'm pretty sure a "TM" belongs after that term).  Wacky Waffles are merely Belgian waffles with various toppings, most of them including candy and heavy whipped cream, but I guess maybe they thought waffles weren't exciting enough to sell without a special name.

Now, I'm not making fun--their doughnuts are pretty incredible (though you can save your money on the Baconator--you can see the bacon, but you can't taste it), and the kolaches are a pretty handy portable way to fill up.  All in all, the food is made well and with a great affection for all that is unhealthy.  And the extreme enthusiasm with which the workers greet and serve you behind the counter is downright heart-warming.  I'm just saying, this place is bizarre.  And the owners are definitely going to die of heart disease soon.