Cocktails for These Political Times: so, do we still have healthcare?

I was trying to remember when the whole Trumpcare debacle happened, and although it seems like at least thirteen controversies ago, it was just on March 24!  And I didn't even make a toast! So, this one's for all of my self-employed friends, many of whom are entertaining you with their amazing music/art/acting/dancing skills, teaching your children self-esteem and pride in a job well done, and making absolutely no contributions to the destruction of this world.  For the record, I always believed you deserve medical care.  Congrats on keeping it a bit longer. I added some juice for extra vitamins.

Healthcare, Hell Yeah!

Makes 1 drink

5 ounces unsweetened blueberry juice
2 ounces plain vodka
sugar to taste
ice
fresh blueberries
coarse sugar for rim of glass

Wet the rim of a chilled martini glass with vodka. Place coarse sugar on a plate, rub the edge of the glass with sugar to coat. Taste your blueberry juice to see how sweet it is. Add ice,vodka, blueberry juice & sweetener (if needed) to a martini shaker. Shake & strain into sugar rimmed martini glass. Float fresh blueberries on the top of the cocktail.
* You could totally replace the vodka with sparkling water (in which case, don't shake!) if you're scared you're about to lose your health insurance.

Cocktails for These Political Times: And also for the broken hearted

I never gave much credence to Valentine's Day, but I do vaguely remember that it served as a not-so-friendly reminder of my alone-ness whenever I was alone on that stupidest of holidays in my youth (which was often, surprisingly!). I think that's kind of what the Trump presidency feels like so far: I see photos of Justin Trudeau being awesome, and Angela Merkel being a grown-up (reminder: she's got a PhD in physical chemistry), and I just feel so...alone.  Bereft. Totally fucked.  So, I'm going through my Valentine's Day favorites to cope this week.

Just Go HERE.  I can't even.

Cocktails for These Political Times: rated R for language

It's hard to come up with a Supreme Court-themed cocktail, you know? But I am your humble servant, and so I try...


GET TO KNOW Neil Gorsuch, Supreme Court nominee. Born in August 29, 1967, this silver-haired fox and virtuous Virgo wants you ladies to ask permission before doing stuff with your bodies (you will be told no), and you truckers can just sarcastically freeze in your trucks, I guess. He is also a steadfast hand-shaker. Get to know what else he stands for with this Denver Post cheat-sheet and drink away your fears with the ...


Rocky Mountain Mother F*cker

Makes 1 drink

1/2 ounce amaretto almond liqueur
1/2 ounce whisky
1/2 ounce lime juice

Combine ingredients in a shaker over ice and chill. Strain, pour into a shot glass, and serve.

Cocktails for These Political Times: Ode to the ACLU

I went through the ACLU's Lobby Training Day in Denver Tuesday, and it was so eye-opening.  We had a brief meeting followed by a morning of wandering around the state Senate and House of Reps offices bugging politicians (and often their aides) not to torture incarcerated minors and to protect free speech  on campus.  In all of my years, and multiple civics classes I was required to take but never took seriously, I never learned so much about how bills are introduced, amended, and voted on. And after seeing up-close how many people are working tirelessly to go through every piece of legislature with a fine-toothed comb to ensure American's civil liberties, I have a renewed sense of appreciation for the ACLU (as do many of you; in Colorado alone, the number of volunteers jumped from 30 before election day to 1700 after their first legislative battles with the so-called Muslim ban).

The ACLU is a non-partisan group invested in calling everyone, on both sides of the aisle, on their bullshit. And if you can't get behind that, then you don't deserve this drink or any other except maybe prune juice.

The Black and White

Makes 1 drink

Ice cubes
2 fluid ounces heavy cream
1 fluid ounce vanilla flavored vodka
1 1/2 fluid ounces chocolate liqueur
Chocolate swizzle sticks, for garnish

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Add the cream and vodka. Cover and shake vigorously, or stir, until combined and chilled, about 30 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Slowly pour the chocolate liqueur into the center of the drink to make a layered black and white cocktail. Lay a chocolate swizzle stick across the top rim of the glass. Serve. (Stir the layers together with the swizzle stick before drinking.)

Cocktails for These Political Times: Ladies and Health Stuff

Damnit, do I really still have to do this, America?  Alright, fine...

1. You're all about to lose your healthcare, if you haven't already.  Contact the honorable Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah to find out what kind of trade-in for services you can get with your iPhone.

In the meantime, you may want to start drinking healthier.  But you also need some vodka to drown your salty, salty tears in, so...

The 2017 Healthcare Gimlet

Makes 1 drink

2 oz, Vodka (keep it cheap, as you're going to have to pay for your own surgeries in the future) 2 oz. pineapple juice 

1 teaspoon lime juice

1 tablespoon agave nectar

1 sprig fresh tarragon (optional)

Place vodka, pineapple juice, lime juice, and agave nectar in a shaker with plenty of ice.  Shake until you can't stand it anymore, then strain into a martini glass.  Garnish with tarragon, which is supposed to be good for you or some shit (but not as good as free preventative medicine).

2. There was a Day Without Women strike yesterday, because apparently we still need to remember that we all rely on women sometimes, like say for our very existence. I was working along with a kick-ass woman composer in Laramie, but I did wear red. 

The #drinklikeagirl 

Makes 1 drink

1 oz. Rye Bourbon or Scotch 

1 oz. grapefruit juice 

1 oz. pomegranate juice* 

1/2 oz. of ginger simple syrup

dash of orange bitters

brandied cherries** and orange peel for garnish

Place all ingredients except garnishes in a shaker with ice. Shake until you are world weary. Strain into whatever the hell glass you like and garnish with brandied cherries and orange peel. 

* ginger simple syrup: In a small saucepan, bring 12 oz. fresh sliced ginger, 1 1/2 cups sugar, and 1 1/2 cups water to a boil over medium heat. Cook 2 minutes. Strain the mixture through a sieve, discarding ginger. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 1 week.

**brandied cherries: it's a lot of words.  just go here. 

Cocktails for these Political Times: Mississippi Edition

I'm in Mississippi this week (stop by if you're in Starkville, Oxford, or Columbus!) giving some concerts and master classes across the Northern expanse of the state, and I'm enjoying learning about local political woes here (well, enjoy might be the wrong word).  Like Coloradans, they had to just go ahead and have a town hall meeting last weekend without their Representative, Steve Palazzo.  But the ugly bill to kill funding for the Mississippi Arts Commission has been killed (yay), and if you're in the area, you can join the good people of this state at the March 4 March on Mississippi to end voter suppression AND their Women's March for Progress April 22. Like so many places these days, it seems the citizenry is far superior to their elected representatives. You guys deserve some punch!

Mississippi Riverboat Milk Punch

Serves between 1 & 6

6 cups any kind of milk you want
1-1/2 cups bourbon
1-1/2 cup powdered sugar, sifted
1 tablespoon vanilla
Freshly grated nutmeg, for garnish

In a pitcher, whisk together milk, bourbon, sugar, and vanilla. Freeze until slushy, 3 to 4 hours. Stir before serving in glasses, finished with a few gratings of fresh nutmeg.

(Urgent PS--you know that little victory for the arts Mississippi just enjoyed? It's meaningless if the NEA, which funds large portions of each state's arts budget, is done away with.  You can sign this fun and easy petition to help see that it isn't!)

Cocktails for These Political Times, part 3

There is so much news every week, most of it bad or crazy, coming out of the White House, and I feel like we all need a little break (from news, but not from drinking). I think it's time for a little positivity. So, this week I've decided to feature some of the fights one of my favorite (sadly, not mine) senators has been picking. This week's Cocktails for These Political Times salutes Minnesota Senator Al Franken, because he kicks ass. And a congratulations to you Minnesotans on your good taste. Check out his formerly awesome hair here.

Hot topics:

Net Neutrality

Overturning Citizens United (here's the petition if you want to sign)

Putting an end to LGBT Bullying (watch the interview here)

Supporting refugees against the Muslim band



There, do you have a crush on Al Franken yet?

It says that the Minnesota state drink is milk (of course), so here we go...

Red Wine Hot Chocolate

Serves 2, if you want to share

1 1/2 cup milk (non-dairy is fine, but keep it plain)
1 cup cheap, fruity/dry red wine (like a South American Shiraz or Merlot)
1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine milk and chocolate chips. Whisk constantly until chocolate is melted into milk and you have a thick and creamy chocolate milk. Pour in red wine and heat until everything is hot. Pour into 2 mugs or 6-8 smaller glasses if you think you can't handle it. I totally think Franni would be able to pound this, though.

Goes with: whatever the fuck you want, because Al Franken thinks you are beautiful and he would never tell you what you can and can't eat. 

Cocktails for These Political Times, part 2

Well well well!  So much exciting stuff happened this week!  Michael Flynn quit, Andrew Puzder withdrew his name as Labor Secretary, and despite the DeVos confirmation, the literacy rate still seems to be the same (not great, but still...).  We've got so much to celebrate!  We are still in Russia's back pocket, but we'll save that for another time.

One topic that has become near and dear to me is that of the town hall meetings.  You may recall (or maybe not--who can keep up with all of the drama?) that several GOP senators returned home in the last week to some rather hostile crowds demanding answers to a wide variety of basic questions regarding healthcare, Russian hacking, business conflicts, and the like.  Here in my home state of Colorado, we have yet to hear any news of prodigal first-time senator Cory Gardner's return, although some of my clever fellow Greeley residents sent him a heartfelt Valentine this week to tantalize him. Many of us have also signed this helpful petition reminding him of our existence.

Perhaps he's afraid to see a repeat of what happened in Salt Lake City when Jason Chaffetz, chair of the oversight committee, got solidly slammed for sucking at his job, which is actually to represent his constituents' desires. Those desires apparently include investigating corruption in the White House. Who knew?

Chaffetz was a brave boy for facing the angry townspeople (braver, so far, than Gardner), but he did imply that those were paid protesters afterward, continuing a tired theme started by Trump himself. So, this week, TWO drinks: one for the great people of SLC for their righteous indignation (I know you probably don't drink, but Jello is your state food, right?), and one for keeping your strength up as you troll your senators on Facebook late into the night.



Fancy Jello Shots for SLC (non-alcoholic)

Makes about 12 double shots

1/2 cup boiling water
2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
2 1/2 cups sparkling juice or cider (chilled)*
optional: berries, cherries, or gummies

Sprinkle the 2 envelopes of unflavored gelatin over the boiling water and let soften for a few minutes. Whisk to dissolve completely and to get rid of clumps.

Pour the sparkling juice or cider gently into a mixing bowl or large measuring cup with a spout (try to pour onto the inside of the bowl to minimize carbonation loss). Pour the gelatin mixture into the sparkling juice and gently stir to combine.

Pour the liquid into stemmed glasses or other containers you wish to use for serving. Add berries or gummies to each glass.

Refrigerate for an hour before serving or until jello is firm enough to eat.

* Trade the cider for sparkling wine/ champagne if you want.



#notapaidprotester 

Makes 1 drink

1/3 cup tomato juice
2 ounces tequila
juice of half a lime
Ice
Hot pepper sauce, (I like Tabasco or Tapatio)

In a large glass, combine tomato juice, tequila, and lime juice. Add ice and several dashes hot-pepper sauce, and get to work demanding revolution!

Announcing: cocktails for these political times

This is a food and travel blog, and with the exception of this plea to donate to your favorite artistic endeavors, I have avoided sharing my political opinions thus far since the apocalypse slowly began. But whether you voted for Hillary or Trump, you've got to admit our shiny new President is breaking a lot of the valuable china right now, and our elected officials are either rendered powerless or too dumbstruck to act. Well, you don't have to admit that, but if you don't see it, please tell me what particular brand of powerful mind-numbing drugs you are taking, because I would very much like in on that. And also, goodbye and thank you for following this blog until today (I'm assuming).

Because drinking has definitely increased at my house and many of my friends' houses since inauguration day, I have decided to start a new Thursday night series called "Cocktails for These Political Times". Every week until the madness ends, I will touch upon some of the spectacular shittiness of the week with links to helpful resources for fighting back, and will dedicate a cocktail to someone on The Hill who really needs it. I hope this series doesn't run for very long, but I have a feeling I'm going to have to start getting a whole lot more creative with gin this year.

This week's biggest disappointments as an American include:
the appointment of Betsy DeVos as the country's last Secretary of Education, the appointment of KKK-loving Jeff Sessions to the incredibly important position of Attorney General, and poor Senator Elizabeth Warren's silencing by the Republicans for trying to read a letter by Coretta Scott King during the Dem's filibuster (a letter which, by the way, was then read by four different male senators without punishment).

While it's over for this round of fights, there are so many coming up, including

• the decision about whether to protect national parks
• a battle over the next Supreme Court judge
• the sanctity of NATO

So, I invite you to watch these issues closely, contact your representative (maybe we can wear them down if we annoy them with our pesky opinions enough?) and read this article on making necessary political harassment a daily part of your schedule.

This cocktail goes to Senator Warren, whose treatment by Republicans reminds us that it sucks to be a woman senator at all, let alone a (gasp) liberal one. Liz, I don't know if you drink, but Imma have an extra one of these for you. Every damn day.

The Monkey Wrench

Serves 1, but honey, just double it if you want...

2 ounces light rum
4 ounces grapefruit juice
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Maraschino cherry, to garnish

In an ice filled old-fashioned glass, combine the light rum, grapefruit juice and Angostura bitters.
Garnish with the maraschino cherry, and serve.

Goes with: the salty tears of your enemies. Also salt and vinegar chips.