Eating Right Coast Pizza in Greeley

Greeley, Colorado has slowly been trying to become a real, grown-up town.  We've got a population of about 100,000, a gang problem, and crappy schools--how much more urban can you get?  The Downtown Development Authority has also been trying to fill all of those charming brick storefronts that have remained empty for so many years.  Enter a new brewery (WeldWerks, the only place to go for local brew), a tap house sporting 60 taps of Colorado proud beer (Brix), and now, Right Coast Pizza.

The downtown Greeley location is Right Coast's second, following their flagship restaurant in Wheat Ridge, in suburban Denver.  They specialize in New Jersey style pizza, which seems to be exactly the same as New York Style--thin, floppy crust that's best eaten folded.  When I went to the grand opening a few weeks ago, they were giving out free Tivoli lager (better than free Coke!), but an hour after the party was supposed to start, they had already run out of pizza crust, so there was nothing to eat.  Rookie mistake, except it's their second store.  Perhaps they underestimated Greeley folks' capacity for free pizza and beer. 

So, I was happy to see the place already starting to fill up at 5:30pm a couple of weeks ago.  Service was very attentive (more on that later) and pizza came out promptly.  There was some confusion about who had ordered which beer when they came to the table, which the waitress explained by confessing she "wasn't a beer person" (that was also her explanation for her ignorance over the item on the menu titled "hopped coffee", which I'd still love to see, but they were out). But the pizza came out very quickly, and it was hot and crisp.  

We got an Elmer, which is a white pizza with spinach, bacon, and tomato slices. It was good.  The crust was lightly charred on the underside, blonde but perfectly crisp above. It was really garlicky, tomatoes and spinach were fresh, and the finely chopped bacon was crisp and plentiful.  There was just enough grease to seem like proper pizza.  At $15 for a 14" (medium), it wasn't exactly grungy college food, either. 

Let's talk about the service, because I find it to be a constant, and very puzzling, problem in Greeley.  It's almost like there's some kind of central training office for wait staff in this town being run by a clown. Literally a clown.  There were way too many people working on a Thursday late afternoon, and so they were all hovering pathetically, looking for things to do.  That's a problem with management's decisions, though I have no idea who that would have been, because every staff person in sight could have all been members of the same sorority.

It was a little bit awkward when the hostess walked us so very slowly to our table while trying to make inaudible small talk over our shoulder and asking us how our day was going.  She later came over repeatedly to make sure there weren't any spare beer menus laying around, which she seemed very eager to collect immediately after the first order was placed.  (PS--this is a bad business move!  Wouldn't you sell more beer if we could see your fabulous, long list of taps all night?)

Then came our sweet, though unapologetically ignorant, server.  She couldn't answer any questions about the drinks, but she was certainly chatty.  After we had ordered our pizza and were working on our beers, she actually came over to ask what we had done all day (Again with this? Why does everyone ask me this now? Starbucks has not been a good influence on the service industry.). When I (not) jokingly said that was pretty personal, she proceeded to tell us about the four fillings she got at the dentist that day, including describing the effects of the novocaine as it wore off. It went on and on, and I think it's fair to say we were all avoiding her eye contact by the end, but she continued unperturbed.  When she brought the pizza after her speech, she complained that it was her favorite pizza and that now she was hungry from having to bringing it to us. 

This is a trend I have noticed, particularly in the downtown area--young, socially awkward girls who don't know much about the products they are serving try to make up for their lack of expertise by chatting us up, far too long and too in-depth, in order to make a personal connection.  I don't know how my fellow patrons feel about this; perhaps they find it delightful.  I can handle a little chit-chat, but at some point I feel obligated to entertain them, and that's too much pressure.  Either Greeley restaurants need to start hanging "extroverts only" signs on their doors, or they need to monitor their young, inexperienced wait staff more and tell them when to cool it on the BSing with the customers. 

This is the big problem right now with Right Coast, and if they can correct it, it'll be a great restaurant downtown.  They seem to know what they're doing in the kitchen, but more oversight and thorough training in the front of the house is definitely needed right now. I'm not sure if the owners are dividing their time evenly enough between their established Wheat Ridge location and their fledgling Greeley spot, but if not, it would be worth the investment to hang out a little more up here for a while. 

But I will repeat, the pizza was good. 

Lucky Fins Grill in Greeley could be somethin'

A new restaurant has moved into the old Blockbuster in the Centerplace shopping center (lordy, I sound like I'm reviewing Olive Garden in North Dakota...which was good, by the way).  Will it last?  I have yet to crack the code on what people in Greeley like. (For example, why is Red Robin so popular? And who eats at 3 Margaritas?)  But this place just might be the right balance of hip decor, inventive food, and shortcuts to the keep the price down that it might last a while.

Lucky Fins is a Boise, ID based restaurant; the Greeley location is their second. The menu boasts an impressive selection of "fresh" (for Colorado) fish, fruity cocktails, and a good selection of local beers on tap. The vibe is techno-geek sports bar with spare, industrial decor and a laid back atmosphere.  I think this place could cater to people looking for a slightly hipper, more urban feel than they can usually find in Cowtown.  But there are some caveats.

First, let's talk about what was truly terrific.  The Ahi poki on the appetizer menu was wonderful.  Generous chunks of raw sushi-grade tuna were accompanied by a small seaweed salad and a flavorful, light sauce, as well as ginger and wasabi.  I could eat that treat every day. Then there was the Mediterranean Mahi-mahi on special the night we visited, and it was excellent in every way.  The fish was cooked perfectly--flaky yet moist. The sauce was creamy, but much lighter than an Alfredo, and flecked generously with fresh herbs. The lemony rice pilaf was actually flavorful, fluffy, and a great compliment to the fish.  And the grilled vegetables included a great assortment of squash, artichoke hearts, broccoli, and more, and were lightly seasoned and left crisp-tender.  This was an excellent meal.

However, those grilled vegetables did taste a little bit like propane, revealing a probable short cut in the grilling process on that chilly October night.  And the other dish we ordered, the lobster tacos with lavender butter, were slightly better in the hypothetical than in real life.  The lobster was very well prepared--tender, buttery, and mild.  The fresh pico served on top was a lovely compliment.  And the lavender butter was...well, it was so intriguing I had to try it.  But in the end, the tacos tasted like well-prepared fish tacos that had been rubbed with a bar of soap.  I think there might be a reason you don't normally sea lavender butter on lobster tacos.  Any amount probably would have overwhelmed the delicate flavors underneath, and this particular preparation certainly did.

The beers on tap were great.  The cocktails were mostly geared towards those who prefer a little booze with their sugar water.  This will probably go over just fine with their main clientele, middle-aged Weld County citizens who have just gotten done shopping at Target a few doors down and want to treat themselves to something different.  I tried the cucumber-lime saketini, and it was powerfully sweet and limey; I don't think that could possibly have been fresh lime juice in there.  Or if it was, there was also a simple syrup thrown in for good measure.  It went down easily, but it was awfully bright and slightly artificial tasting.

We were treated to a free dessert of Captain Crunch Fried Ice Cream.  Sounds interesting, right?  Like the lavender butter, it didn't work as well as it sounded.  There was so much oil in the crunchy coating that it mostly tasted like canola, and very little like Captain Crunch.  This could be fixed, though, and I would encourage them to do so.  Because without the weird canola oil flavor, this would have been pretty fun to eat.

In general, I think these guys really know how to cook fish, and they care about the quality of their ingredients.  The more creative-sounding menu items were the most disappointing for me, but when it comes to preparing seafood, the kitchen's skills are solid.

Every weekend, some special seafood is flown in and featured on the rotating menu board.  Happy hour is 4-6pm on weeknights and offers some drink discounts. The service is friendly and the wait staff are generally knowledgeable about what they're selling. If you're in town from New York or Japan or some other riparian location, you're probably going to roll your eyes at this place.  But if you have been limited to land-locked seafood restaurants in the Rocky Mountain West, I think this place can definitely keep up with your needs. I will happily give them more chances to wow me; I think I'll just avoid the lavender butter in the future.

I had crepes for breakfast and you didn't, nya nya...

Does this hat make me look offensively stereotypical enough?

I stopped in at the local new place in my neighborhood, Cafe Panache, at 821 10th Street in Greeley. CO.  They've barely been open a week, which means they shouldn't have their act together yet, so I was prepared for things to be a little clumsy while they develop a routine.  But you know what?  I already love the place. Simply put, they do crepes--the kind you buy on the street in Paris, neatly folded and and wrapped in paper--that you can eat at the table or carry back to work.  Fillings range from the very French-sounding (apple, walnut, & bleu cheese; mushroom & leek) to child's fair (Nutella), to the slightly adventurous (banana, peanut butter, and bacon), and they are delicious. The price is right, too: $3.75 or $4.25 for one of the more adventurous ones.  It's filling, reasonably fast, and definitely the most interesting sandwich you're going to get in Greeley.

We stumbled in for breakfast this morning just as they were opening, and as an apology for being slow (they weren't), we got a free macadamia nut biscotti drizzled with chocolate while we waited.  I am not normally a fan of these dreadful things, which amount to a long crouton with some hard chocolate on top.  But this one actually had some moisture to it, reminding me more of a nice piece of shortbread.  And the coffee was pleasant, too.  No high-powered acidic Starbucks brew, but it was roasty, flavorful, and a soothing, gentle compliment to my mushroom-leek crepe.

If you are in the area, please go.  I hate to see this place struggle, because they're doing everything right.  And I rarely say that with such wild abandon here in Greeley.  7am-2pm M-Th; 7am-10pm F.  

Greeley, CO's weirdest restaurant

Ostensibly, Red's Dogs and Donuts hearkens back to Greeley's potato-loving past, offering "spudnuts", or doughnuts made with potato flour.  In reality, it's a crazy hot mess of A.D.D. junk food love--doughnuts (most are not spudnuts), "gourmet" hotdogs made with kobe beef (Why bother?  Can anyone explain this?) and all kinds of random toppings like mole sauce with pickled red onions and coleslaw with bacon, as well as a couple of special treats you can't find anywhere else.  In fact, you might not ever have heard of them.

Kolaches are a yeast-based bun filled with meat, vegetables, or fruit.  Most are geared towards breakfast (though Red's is open until 8pm weekdays, midnight weekends) and amount to enclosed Egg McMuffin-style sandwiches.  And then there are the Wacky Waffles (I'm pretty sure a "TM" belongs after that term).  Wacky Waffles are merely Belgian waffles with various toppings, most of them including candy and heavy whipped cream, but I guess maybe they thought waffles weren't exciting enough to sell without a special name.

Now, I'm not making fun--their doughnuts are pretty incredible (though you can save your money on the Baconator--you can see the bacon, but you can't taste it), and the kolaches are a pretty handy portable way to fill up.  All in all, the food is made well and with a great affection for all that is unhealthy.  And the extreme enthusiasm with which the workers greet and serve you behind the counter is downright heart-warming.  I'm just saying, this place is bizarre.  And the owners are definitely going to die of heart disease soon.

Visit Greeley--we have a good restaurant now!

One day you might be headed to Greeley, Colorado.  Perhaps your grandmother lives there, or you have an underachieving nephew attending UNC (just kidding, I love you guys!!!), or maybe you are on a field trip studying sadness.  Until recently, your food choices would not encourage you to come back, but last month a fun little shop called RUMI House of Kabob opened at 1116 9th Street.  It’s actually a two-story Victorian house, so drive slowly once you cross 11th Avenue so you don’t miss it.

RUMI does not have a terribly varied menu--it really does specialize in kabobs and gyros--but everything is exceptionally good.  The hot black tea is lightly herbed and the hummus is remarkably well-balanced in flavor and a nice smooth, thickish texture.  Have the red lentil soup (they’ll give you a half order if you’re worried about getting too full--that’s what I did); it is thick, creamy, and amazingly delicious.  Like the hummus, it’s full of different flavors that blend together beautifully.  It’s served with ground cumin sprinkled on top, a slice of lemon on the side, and a little bottle of hot sauce.  It is close to perfection.

I tried kebobs made with chicken and ground beef (Koobideh).  Both were nicely grilled and spiced; the beef was more flavorful.  Kabob platters are served with a roasted tomato, Persian rice, and a relish-like little dish of salad made of finely diced tomato, cucumber, and red onion, dressed with lemon juice, parsley, and a little olive oil.

They were out of baklava, leaving only caramel flan on the dessert menu.  I had my heart set on baklava and couldn’t switch gears to get excited about flan, but that’s OK.  I’ll be back to try the gyro, anyway.

PS--There’s no coffee on the menu, so walk over to Woody’s Newsstand at 942 9th Street for a cappuccino and a leisurely peek at some magazines from all over the world.

That’s it.  That’s all I’ve got for ya if you come to Greeley.  But it’s good!